Layla Grace

I was catching up on some blog reading and ran across this post from my friend Ashley about this sweet family who are spending their last moments with their baby girl right now.

Here is Ashley's blog post with the family's website attachment at the end...

I read this blog today and it touched my heart. Let me review you on what you are about to read: This family of 5 is about to lose their 2 year old to cancer. The mother is blogging about her precious life- her name is Layla Grace. She is in hospice now and holding on and the mother is spending the last moments with her precious daughter AS I TYPE. If you read on down her blog she has a post called "Sleep, Valentine's Day, and Regrets"- it had tears running down my face. To think sometimes I could ever get annoyed when Wilson follows me around or if I dont get a full night's sleep. When I hear of families that have to go through this my heart hurts with burden/loss for them. It makes me appreciate ALL and EVERYTHING that comes with my sweet/precious son. Please join me and pray for this mommy, daddy, and sisters as they embrace and endure the last few moments with their daughter. And please appreciate EVERY MOMENT with your children/nieces/nephews/grandchildren- LIFE IS A VAPOR!

http://laylagrace.org/

So as I read the blog about sweet Layla Grace, I begain to bawl my eyes out for this little girl and for this family who is facing the most difficult thing that any family could face. In the midst of it all, though, her mom is still giving God all the glory. A piece of her is dying, she is watching her precious baby suffer and yet she is still able to praise God in the midst of this storm. What a strong woman and faithful follower. For lack of a better term, she is inspirational to say the least. Amazing story, amazing mother, amazing family.

I look at my little boy and think how in the world could I ever be frustrated with him? How could I ever take one moment for granted?  This little grirl is his exact age and through her story and her mother's mission to tell her story, people are inadvertenly affected by her. I will slow down, let the dishes pile up, sit in the floor and play a little longer and squeeze my boy a little tighter. I don't know this family, but I will pray for them and for their little girl. What a legacy she will leave.

Adoption

I don't really know how to start this blog or why I am actually writing it....just some thoughts are running through my head. Josh and I have really been praying for a second baby and possibly (actually most likely) a second chance at adoption. I have a heavy heart right now because Major's birthmother is likely in the hospital giving birth to her daughter right now. With that comes many many emotions for me.

Let me go back a few years and clear my brain:
Josh and I got married in May of 2004. The following year we started "trying" to have a baby.  Over the course of that year, I found out that I had some fertility issues. I graduated college in December 2005 and in January 2006 we started treatments that continued until June 2007. In June I finally had a breakdown/lightbulb moment and we decided adoption was our best option. Once we finally made the decision to adopt, it was like we stopped fighting the current and things became easy, clear actually, like this is what we were supposed to do at that very moment. Josh had been researching adoption agencies for months without me knowing, which turned out to be a great thing because at that point I did not have the emotional stamina to do that. When you choose adoption, you immediately feel like a goldfish in this big giant ocean. Lucky for us though we found an amazing agency and an amazing social worker that held our hands and walked us through the next few months.
In July 2007 we submitted our initial paperwork, dear birthmother letter and started the waiting game. With adoption, especially in cases like ours where we wanted to adopt a caucasian newborn, we were expecting to wait.......a long time......like years.....but we thought at least there is a light at the end of the tunnel, there is a guarantee. It may come in a year, or 5 but we knew at some poing we'd be parents. We were expecting to hear from our agency once a month about updates. On our first month's update, our social worker called and said that a birthmother in California had chosen us to be the parents of her baby! At that point we were floored, we had been clients just 5 weeks. We were matched on August 27, 2007 and flew to meet her in September. We came home, prepared a nursery and waited about a month before flying back to California for his birth. We were in California for 16 total days, most of which was before Major was born. We got to visit with his birthfamily, bond with them and see California. We were blessed.....
Then 3 days after his due date Major made is arrival. Josh and I were so grateful to be in the delivery room when he was born. Josh helped the doctor deliver Major and we cut his cord. The nurses immediately handed him to me. WOW. Talk about a life changing moment. That night, we went to another wing of the hospital with our newborn son. The very next morning we were discharged from the hospital and 3 days later flew from California to Tennesssee with our 4 day old baby. Life as we knew it was....better, greater, more meaningful that either of us could have prayed for. We looked at this new baby that God had chosen for us and gave thanks. There is no other way to describe our situation than it was God's will. Through our trials and struggles, I always felt like what we were doing was the wrong thing. Through it all, I kept praying for God's will. If that meant we were to be pregnant, then give me the strength to keep trying, if it meant adoption, then lead me. If it meant that Josh and I weren't to be parents, then take that desire from me. Whatever his Will I was ready to follow. Once I finally believed that, finally let it go, our path was laid for us and our precious baby boy was waiting for us.
I guess I am thinking of all this because I know that our birthmother is having a new baby right now. She is just 16 and selfishly I know that Josh and I could provide for her as we have for Major. Giving her a family, foundation, love and support. But if I've learned anything in the last 5 years, it is that it's not about me, or being selfish. I was blessed to have a conversation with her this week and she told me that when she was pregnant with Major, she always felt he wasn't hers. She had him for us. She said she never grew attached to him like you normally would, but she felt like with this baby, this pregnancy, God was giving her a second chance. She is excited and of course Josh and I are happy for her. There will always be those feelings of, I wish. I look at Major and am overwhelmed at how perfect he is and how God knows our hearts and our plans no matter what we think. I can't imagine my life without Major.  He is happy and healthy and more than we could have ever asked for. We are happy and beyond blessed that God have us the opportunity be his Mama and Daddy. So as I continue to pray for our family and one day having another baby, I am content in knowing that God in in control and is so faithful and everytime my sweet boy says I love you Mama, I am reminded how truly and unbelievably blessed we really are!

Valentines Day

I am full of opinions and random thoughts this week...

Unless you live under a rock, you know that Sunday is Valentines Day. Oh Valentines Day, the day we are supposed to buy gifts for our significant other to show them how much we love them. The day we are supposed to spend $100 for red roses when you can get them for $20 next week. The day that every store in America runs of out chocolate and strawberries. I for one am not a fan. I think Valentines Day is kinda dumb. When you first start dating someone, it is nice to have that "holiday" to look forward to, to be romanced, etc, etc, but for me, the longer I'm with Josh, the more I appreciate small gestures throughout the year.  I would venture to say that most couples would agree that what they define as "sweet and romantic" changes throughout their years together. I think it is so so so much sweeter for him to randomly leave a love note or make breakfast or fold the laundry. Those things show me that he really loves me. It is unprompted, special and he does it because he WANTS to, not because society has put a label on this specific day.
The other morning, as I slept he took care of Major and made breakfast. After breakfast he cleaned the bathrooms without me asking or saying something about it. He just did it. He knows that I do not enjoy that job, so he did it to just help me out. I was so grateful and appreciative and quietly made a memo of his gesture.
I guess what I'm saying is that I think that couples (or maybe I shouldn't generalize); For Josh and I, we work better, appreciate each other more, and stay in love by doing special things for each other all year. Whether it is cleaning the bathroom for the other or making lunch for the next day or leaving a note in his truck to just say I love you, it doesn't matter. It ensures that we have special moments throughout the year, not just Valentines Day. I know that all couples have things like this that keep them going, guessing and falling in love. That's what's so special about relationships.

So our plans for this year are; stay home, take it easy, watch movies with Major and just be. We are blessed to have 12 years together and look forward to many more years worth of Valentines Days together.

Here are a few (and some really terrible pics) of our years together: :) 

                                                    

 

 

 

 

  

  

  

  

  

  

 

   

Stork Parking...

Today Major and I ventured out of the house in the freezing cold to run some errands and get a few things at the store for his Valentine party at school tomorrow. As I pulled in Kroger I noticed 2 parking spots at the front of the store that were empty and that weren't handicap spots. My immediate thought was.....SCORE! As I got closer however, I noticed that the signs read "Expectant Mother Parking". Immediately my brain went to work thinking about how I felt about that as I parked 2 miles away and carried my very heavy toddler into the store in 20 degree weather. My decision....I am against Stork Parking.  Ok now, before all you pregnant moms come after me and claw my eyes out, let me explain why I think stork parking is, well, not as important as "Stroller Parking" or "Mom's with Young Children Parking".  (In my opinion, I really think they should read "People with Young Children", I mean Dad's venture out with their tots too and they should have the same convenience and safety as a mom) Anyhoo....
How is it fair that only one segment of the inconvenienced population is accommodated with premium parking?  It’s a reasonable question.  True, pregnancy is uncomfortable.  BUT, so is having a cold.  Or having poison ivy, or being post-third-shift, or having a sunburn, or a broken leg, or being morbidly obese. So are migraines, menstrual cramps, and toothaches. So is infertility. And poverty. Why not ditch “Expectant Mother” parking in favor of “Having a Crappy Day” parking?  I'm just sayin'. Of all people I think pregnant women should be catered to and cared for, but as a mother of a very busy toddler, I am thinking it would be AWESOME to have prime parking so that I could get my precious little monster in and out of places quicker, SAFER and with more ease and convenience. All this is coming from a mom with one child. I can only imagine a mother with 2 or more children hauling her brood through a crowded parking lot while Ma'am Preggers gracefully parks in the front space.
Now, don't get me wrong, if I don't have my child with me, then I am more than happy to park at the very back of the parking lot. Lets be honest, I could use the exercise. I am just thinking that in terms of safety and convenience there should be LOTS of close parking for people with small children. If the stores want to still provide Stork Parking, great!  Just add a few more spaces next to them because once that baby is here, I'm sure most mom's would agree that carrying that heavy carseat while dragging her toddler behind her a little less distance would be a relief!

Ok, comment away....the good, the bad and the ugly. How do you feel about stork parking?

Snow much FUN!!!!

When the forcast called for snow showers in middle Tennessee, I kinda shrugged and thought it'd be like last time, just a little dusting. I was thrilled to wake up to big ole snowflakes covering my yard. Major was so excited to see the snow and just wanted to build a snowman, but when we went outside on Saturday morning, I was disappointed to be walking on 3 inches of ice. I had to get a shovel to break the ice up around his swingset so that he could play with actual snow. Not the "snow showers" I was hoping for....we had fun for a few minutes anyway though...

He's thinking what do I do with all this ice?

 

  

  

  

Daddy had to work Friday and Saturday in the nasty weather, so it was just Major and I playing in the ice covered snow, but the real fun of the weekend came on Sunday when we headed up to the farm. By this time Major and I were snowed in for 3 whole days so we were both itching to get out of the house. It's a good thing we went because it was the best fun that we as a family had in a long time! We had a day filled with sledding, tubing, 4 wheeling and even body surfing! It was a perfect day together!

 

 

 

Sledding with Sadie

Tubing with Daddy and Sadie

 

At the bottom of the hill

 

Daddy "body surfing" behind the 4-wheeler. (By the way: I have never laughed so hard!!!:))

 

Me tubing! 

 

We had such a fun day and are super grateful for Josh's dad and Sonya for letting us come up and act like little kids on their farm. It was wonderful watching Major play, tube and sled. I look forward to many more winters with him growing up and playing like we did last weekend. Now that the snow is melting though and we have sunshine today...bring on Spring! I am ready for t-shirts and green grass!