As I sit here, struggling to put my thoughts into words, I am thinking about these floods and the lines that "God never gives you more than you can handle" and "Something good will come from all this devastation". I believe both are true.
Blessed seems to be an understatement when I say that the flood missed us. We had a lot of water in our yard, but no damage other than our driveway being washed away. Josh was gone basically for 4 days rescuing people and cleaning up debris and during that time, God laid a burden on my heart. I knew, like most other Nashvillians, that I needed to do something. With Major in tow, I cleaned out closets and cabinets and gave away clothes, shoes, food, and household items. I knew that wasn't enough, but it was a start. I kept thinking "be the church, be the church". I have never been one to be a good witness in terms of just sitting down and talking about Jesus, but maybe through all this devastation, I could be the hands and feet of Jesus. Working in small ways, helping people, feeding and clothing people, caring for people is what Jesus wants of us anyway. And then it occurred to me, that I was witnessing. Maybe not verbally, but I was doing something for the greater good. Sure, there have been times before where I volunteered, or gave things to people who are less fortunate, but it has never hit me like now.
So at church Sunday, the message was "Give Yourself Away". Basically, find a place to serve, be faithful to the Lord and be unselfish, help others and lead them. God knew about the flood, I don't think he caused it, I think he allowed it to happen. People ask why and perhaps there is no answer to that question. I think what each person takes from a crisis or disaster depends on their thoughts and beliefs, their feelings and how directly they are impacted by whatever the situation is. It is up to you how you respond and each person is impacted differently. For example, a friend of mine lost everything she owns in the flood. It is horrible, but she remains faithful even through her disaster. She even said today "God is good ALL the time" as her belongings were being tossed away. I can't speak for her, but I think she knows that God has a plan and all this will work out for the greater good.
I think when you see the result of God's plan, it is like the sky becomes blissfully clear. God was working in my heart and preparing it for the message on Sunday. I was, without question, moved. I started crying in the car after talking to Josh because there are times when he has to work at the fire department and I get SO SO SO MAD at him. I hate when those tones go off and my life is disrupted.....you read it right. How could a person be so SELFISH....I was convicted right there in the car. I apologized to him for giving him so much grief about doing his job, basically helping people when they call. If the tables were turned I would want someone to come to my rescue if I needed it, so how dare I get angry at him for doing that for someone else. God was moving in me this week for sure. I hate that it took something so devastating and sad for me to open my eyes, but I did. I know the things that I contributed this week are meager and small, but in some way, I hope that someone benefited from the meals or the clothes that we donated. I know that I am human, I am not perfect, I will falter and fail, and I will make mistakes, but I know that I am a better person because of this flood, because of my convicted heart and because I realized that God was working on me this week. I pray that "after the flood", after all this mess is cleaned up and life moves on that I can remember how I feel right now, be the church and continue to give myself to HIM.
