Cleaning out the cobwebs on this blog

Well...
How has nearly a year passed since I actually wrote anything on this blog?
Boo.
I guess I'll just start fresh.
Let me begin by saying this: I thought I was busy when Major was a baby.  Buddy. I had no clue.  And how in the world do you Mamas who work get it all done? I mean seriously...I can't even imagine.  Bravo ladies.  Bravo. I couldn't do it.

So, I just looked at this blog and noticed my last post was titled "kindergarten already"....
Ha! I was freakin' out!!!
We are one week away from first grade now!
It's  safe to say that we have all grown and changed a bunch this year.

I'm excited for Major to be in first grade, and although we had an AMAZING kindergarten teacher, I'm glad that year is behind us.

Someone told me once to not be sad about your kids growing up and sometimes I really struggle with that but Major is at such a fun and awesome age.  As I type this he is rockin it out a skate camp, tonight he'll go back to football.  He's fun and pretty easy and we get to do a bunch of really cool things with him right now.  I kinda wish he would just stay 6 forever. Kinda.

:)

Kindergarten....already?!

Well, it's been a while since I sat down and wrote anything.
This summer absolutely flew by. We are settling into our house, loving the neighborhood and the proximity to everything. It is everything we prayed it would be.

Josh has been working non-stop.
Major has been Major. He's busy! His summer consisted of skateboarding, swimming, laking it, football, a whole bunch of bike riding and just hanging out. We've loved every minute and are so thankful to daddy for allowing it all to happen.

But summer ended today...which brings me to this post.

I'm not sure how I feel, what I want to say, whether I'm happy or sad...so whatever this becomes will probably be rambly...

Tomorrow begins a journey for us that 5 years ago seemed so, so, so far away.
When we found out our baby was a boy we prayed for him. We hoped so many things for him not yet even knowing what he would look like, who he would be, what his personality would be like. For 5 years we've watched him grow into this independent, funny, wild, mischievous, happy little boy who is so full of life. For 5 years I tried to envision this night and tomorrow morning. And in this moment, I feel so bittersweet about it.

I'm sure all Mamas are fighting back the same tears that I am right now. I am so happy that I am blessed with a son who is ready for this milestone. I am so happy that he is independent enough to go and be excited about kindergarten. I am so happy that we live in a place that he can go to a good school with loving teachers. I am so happy.

But, there's sadness too. Sadness that he's big. Sadness that my days won't be filled with everything Major. Sadness that the house will be so quiet. Sadness that he's not a baby and that he doesn't need me so much.

For 5 years I've been there for every first. Every moment. Every everything that he's ever needed I've been there and now I won't be. The thing is, he's so ready. So ready. This separation stuff is all me. He will be great. I am gonna miss him for sure but I know that he will have the best time. He will be amazing like he is at everything he tries for and I will be good too...eventually...hopefully.

My prayer for him is that he grows and learns.  I want him to be himself, to be a leader. I hope he tries hard then tries harder at everything he does.  I hope he loves and is nice to everyone, uses his manners and remembers that the words he uses, the choices he makes and the things he does are reflections of  Jesus. I hope he is the hands and feet. I hope he knows we love him and are so, so, so incredibly proud of him.


It's overwhelming to me that this moment is here. As I walk out of the school tomorrow I am sure there will be some tears (hopefully from just me). I hope I have some peace about leaving him tomorrow and that he has the best day!

If anyone stuck with me to the end of this pity party, please feel free to say a prayer for us both tomorrow!

Home

Busy, busy bees.

 It's SUMMER and that means our days are filled with play time, popsicles, bike rides, play dates, swimming and all things fun.

All of that fun equals a lot less time settling in to our new house, decorating, sewing, crafting...all the things that Mama loves, but we are getting there. 

I'm trying to focus on a room at a time but basically that's leaving me with a whole bunch of unfinished spaces, which is driving me nutso! 

I'm hoping to do a home post soon but in the meantime, here is a picture of the outside :) 

We love it here and are so grateful to be in a neighborhood where Major can have friends, ride his bike and be at a good school.
Slowly but surely this is becoming home. 

Major's Baptism

This weekend was such an overwhelmingly blessed weekend.

I got to experience the labor and delivery of my sweet nephew just hours before my own baby was baptized. (After his Mama and Daddy see the pictures I will post about his birth)! 

This post is for Major.

For about a year he has been asking us a lot of questions about God, Jesus, heaven, hell and various bible stories. We answered his questions but prayed for him through the year. We actually kinda held back from thinking he was ready to be baptized or even knew what it meant because he is so young. It's the biggest decision he'll ever make so we wanted him to understand as much as he could before he made his decision.

He always prays really sweet prayers. He thanks God for his family and always thanks God for his strength and muscles!!! He usually talks about what we did that day and will sometimes pray for a friend. But a few weeks ago his prayer was different. 

He asked Jesus into his heart and talked about heaven and serving God. It was such and honest and pure prayer. Josh and I looked at each other and tears filled our eyes. 

We are so grateful for his heart and for the work God is doing in him. Our hope is that we are the parents that God wants us to be for him. He will grow and mature in his walk and will hopefully come to know the Lord so much more deeply. I hope everything we do helps him become the man God intends for him to be, but today at five years old, he loves God and Jesus and understands as much as a little boy can.

My heart feels like it will explode with joy for him!

-mypicsarentuploading-

Graduation

I've always known two things about myself; I love kids and I want to be a mom.

I wasn't sure in what capacity God would use me to fulfill the roles that I desired. The opportunities I've had to love children and the way I became a mom sure weren't the plans I had envisioned for myself, but they are God's plans and,you know, those always turn out better than your own.

I've been extremely fortunate to always be able to be with Major. When he's home, I'm home. When he's at school, I'm at school. Each year I have a class that I get attached to and love and this year is no exception. I've had the opportunity to teach and fall in love with 10 of the sweetest little kiddos in the world. This group of kids have a special place in my heart for sure. I love them each so much and don't take the opportunity to care for them, teach them and love them for granted. They are so sweet and so much fun!

This year is especially special to me because my baby boy will graduate preschool too. I'm sending him off to the great big world of kindergarten. Our days will no longer be spent together, we won't have Major and Mama days during the week when all the big kids are at school. Our house will be very quiet and I will have the opportunity to miss him during the week. On one hand I'm looking forward to that. On the other, not so much.
I'm so happy that he's ready. He's healthy, learning, excelling. I am looking forward to watching him grow and change, learn, and become stronger. Im looking forward to him finding even more independence but I pray he knows he can always come to us.
It feels like he changes everyday so I'm just trying to soak in everything and everyday of him being 5. I want to remember what his hand feels like in mine. I want to remember that when he's tired he likes me to rub his cheek. I want to remember how fearless he is. How stubborn.

I know kindergarten is the beginning really but for me, for us, it's an ending too. I'm trying to hold it together as my only baby reaches this milestone.

To say I'm thankful or grateful to have the opportunity to be his mom just isn't enough. I'm not sure, through that dark tunnel of a place I was in praying for him, how God chose us for each other but I am so so so so blessed that he did.

The next few days will be a blur I'm sure but as I send my 10 littles and my own babe off to kindergarten I want them all to know what a blessing they are to me and how fortunate I am to have a small part in their lives.

Paint

Choosing paint is hard.
How do they expect you to know what a whole room will look like based on a microscopic sampling of paper?
Ugh.
Sure you could buy samples, go home, paint, live with it for a few days then decide...but...I do not have time for that.
So...I decided.

kinda

Im second guessing now.

We have to paint Major's room, bathroom, the craft room and the playroom....

For Major's room Josh and I really, really disagreed.
I found this picture on pinterest and thought it would be the perfect little boy to big boy room...

polkadotpeacock.com via pinterest

I love, love, love it. So I ordered the bedding from West Elm and have been gathering other cute things but that wall color...It doesn't say what color it is so I went to Lowes. I didn't want something too green, definitely not too bright but not baby or girly green either. 

I finally settled on a color called Olive Martini but Josh vetoed it on the way to Lowes. He said it looked like snot. Boo. 

He wanted to do something called Grass Stain or Turf Green. They were just that, grass-y. Too green. So we compromised on a color called apple something. It was kinda in between but I am super praying it isn't too bright. I am still having a hard time imagining a whole green room but we'll see. 

I have visions of some simple wainscoating but I'm not certain he's going for that. 

 

By this point, we are both over paint colors so he surrenders and I take the easy way out. We are painting Major's bathroom, my craft room and the playroom all grey. There are different variations but they are all grey. Hopefully it won't be too drab and blah. 

Anyway, here's to hoping we get it done and it all turns out decent.

We are kinda over it.

Be still

We are 4 days from moving.
4 days.
We are in go mode.

Then God was like 'Hey, let's not forget what's important here. Let's not forget that stressing out over the right size moving boxes IS NOT IMPORTANT!!!'

Wanna know how he reminded me?

My husband was in a house fire...his beloved but dangerous job...when a roof collapsed and a beam landed on his shoulder. He separated his shoulder, messed his elbow up some and has a small burn on his hand.

God is telling me to BE STILL.

I'm just gonna be real honest, I am not good at being still. I am trying and I am failing.

I'm all stressed and worried and thinking how are we gonna pack, how are we gonna paint, how are we gonna move, who is gonna help with Major, how do I do this, or that, whatsuipth he[h[reyh[ [FJOGHJ [G [FI[AJIETUHFUAPjife[hj[shgihghdfjdjios......that's what's in my head.

Then God is like 'Hey sister, shhhhh'

Then I remember to just be still. To be thankful that we have a house to move out of and a house to move into.  So thankful to have a husband who has a job he loves, even though it scares the crap out of me. I'm thankful that he is ok and in the possibilities of all that could happen to him at work, a separated shoulder is doable. We can for sure work with that.

I know my to do list will get done.
I know it will be in God's time and not mine.
I know I need to let it go.
I know he is in control.

So on  this Good Friday, I am laying here with my husband beside me and my baby in the room next to me knowing that I am so undeserving of all the blessings in my life. I am such a failure, such a disappointment yet He sacrificed it all for me.
I am so thankful for the blessings Jesus has allowed me to have in this life. I am so thankful for my husband, for his safety and for his health. I am so thankful he is a good husband to me and a good daddy to Maj and that we get to share this life together.

And although I fail miserably all the time, I am most thankful I am forgiven and loved by a perfect Savior and that everyday I get to live my life for Him. 

Happy Easter weekend friends, let us remember his sacrifice and not take it for granted
(even if you are moving)!!!! :)