I am so behind on blogging. I'm gonna try to get myself caught up in the next week just so that I can remember all that's going on right now.
Today though, I need advice, suggestions, or maybe just to know that this is ok and normal....or not.
Here's the thing.....technology.
Technology is necessary.
Technology can be really good
or
really bad.
Technology and the impact and impression it has on my 4 year old is not awesome.
NOT. AWESOME.AT.ALL.
Major is 4 and a half. He thinks any kid older than him is cool. Kids who are 8 have cell phones, kids who are 12 or 14 have cell phones. Everyone has a cell phone and anything their brain can think of is at their fingertips.
Friends, Sitters, Student Helpers at church, GRANDPARENTS, they all have cell phones or i-pads and they all have access to my child.
Here is a little something about me. I am not a TV person. I really don't like the TV. I prefer to have it off especially during the day. Josh and I usually watch at night; or he watches and I blog or use the computer, but basically that's the same difference. We are both plugged into dummy boxes. The TV though, I don't love to just have it on.
My husband, he is a Mike TV. If he is home, it is on. He likes to have it on when we fall asleep at night too. He's been like that since he was a baby. He loves TV. I don't. Not wrong, just different.
Now onto other technologies: We have an I-pad and we have cell phones. Major has a few games on our phones and (until very recently) only educational games on the I-pad. I use these games as rewards for things such as behavior. I will admit that Josh's fault is TV, mine is the I-pad. It is so easy to just click and check Facebook or e-mail or whatever. I'm guilty too.
Here's the problem: I feel like if Major is going to watch TV or play the I-pad it needs to be educational or for a purpose. I don't like for him to just have the TV on all day and watch show after show (even if it is a day long marathon of Calliou). The same can be said for the i-pad. I don't like for him to just have access to games that developmentally aren't appropriate or that have no educational or learning value. If he gets to watch TV or play a game, I want him to view that as a reward or special treat.
Josh and I do not see eye to eye on this. We don't argue, but it's a difference of opinion for sure. For example, he's downloaded swamp people where Major shoots alligators. A grandparent showed him other games that I don't feel are of value at all. I try to engage Major, do science experiments, crafts, play imagination games and play outside or do outings when we are together during the day, Daddy comes home and lets him watch the grown up versions of Spiderman, Transformers or lets him play on his phone or the I-pad. Those things are way cooler than blocks and puzzles apparently so that's what he asks to do.
When we are in the car, at a restaurant, or on the go at all Josh feels like Major needs to have a device in his hand. Now, when Major is in the car, restaurants, at church with teenage helpers or sees a grandparent he asks to play a game (on the phone or i-pad). Also, if I need to sew or clean or something and there is down time in the day, Major always asks to play the I-pad or my phone. It drives me freakin nuts.
I am his playmate so when I need to do other things, I have to remind him that he has other toys and that we don't always have to have a TV or game going. He
sometimes usually fusses about how he doesn't like his toys, blah, blah, blah......
Today is a perfect example of balance, I guess. He watched PBS kids this morning in our bed for a bit (one show I think, I was running though so I'm not sure) I got in the shower when I got back and Josh left for work so I let him watch until I was out of the shower. By this time the TV had already been on for close to 2 hrs. I turned it off at 9 and left it off. We played and he actually played on his own for a long time. He played imagination games which always make me happy. Basically, he played awesome without fussing about TV/games. After we played outside and had lunch I let him have a "rest time". He chose the I-pad, so he played for probably 30 minutes then I took it away. As the day went on, we played, went outside again, etc but when we came in he wanted more TV. I told him no so he started playing. Josh got home right after that and then he was in bed at 7. So all in all today was a good balance with very little fussing from him, but to be honest that's kind of rare.
He still plays plenty, and he loves to be outside, but basically I feel like I am fighting an uphill battle. Everyone and everything around me is like a river current throwing information, shows, games and such at my child and I am trying my hardest to make sure that he is only getting filtered information. I know I can't keep him in a bubble, I don't want to. I want him to know how to use these technologies, but I want them to be LIMITED and AGE APPROPRIATE. He is 4. FOUR! I don't think that it's appropriate for him to ask for a movie or cell phone to play games every time we are in the car, out somewhere or with people.
Sure he drives me crazy and sure there are times when an episode of Calliou or Doc McStuffins is appropriate, but that's what I'm saying. I feel like TV, cell phone and I-pad games just need to be in moderation. Apparently I am the only one that feels that way bc everytime I turned around at camp last week at church, Major was playing a game on some teenagers phone.
It's incredibly frustrating for me. He has no idea what a DS is or what any gaming system is other than the Wii. We let him play Wii sports maybe once a week but that's just started since maybe June when it was too hot to do much of anything outside. He KNOWS that's a treat. He isn't asking to get an xbox or anything like that. He still prefers to be outside and is asking for a 4 wheeler and a hunting gun for Christmas. I know he is all boy and some of this gaming and technology stuff is normal. I just don't want him to stop imagining or playing with his toys because he has a dummy box to look at instead. Make sense? I also keep telling myself he is 4. When we were 4 I guess we watched TV but we played too. And I didn't have a cell phone till I was 17.
Things are changing and little kids aren't allowed to be little. Technology, social media, advertising, all of it tells our kids they need to grow up far too quickly. I just want him to be 4. I want him to play with dump trucks, climb trees and dig for worms. I want him to practice baseball, swing, get dirty and sweat. I don't want someone to show him how to shoot alligators, use a jetpack, run over cars, race motorcycles or for him to ask me to go to the app store. ( I about hit the floor when that came out of his mouth last week). I want him to be a preschooler. Not a pre-teen, not a teenager, not an adult. Let him be little. Let him learn his letters, and imagine being a postman, a puppy, an inventor, doctor or whatever else he thinks he wants to be. Let him play real games and not think he has to be, do, see or act like what he sees on TV.
So if you have a phone, I-pad or whatever and my child asks you to play on it, please tell him no and perhaps suggest playing a REAL game. At the very least, if he does play it, let's make it worthwhile. Let's see what he can learn. Maybe I just want to protect him and make sure the things he sees, hears, and learns are all things that matter.
Anyway......thoughts, suggestions, same struggles? Different? Am I crazy? I seriously wonder if other people with preschoolers feel this way..................................
Maybe I'm crazy, over-protective, not cool. Maybe. Or maybe I just want what he is exposed to be wholesome and good. Maybe I want to be in control while he is little when I know the reality is I am not all the time. Waaaaahhhhh (enter cry baby face).
Seriously, thoughts?
