Sweet Duke

Saturday afternoon, Josh and I lost our sweet bulldog Duke. Putting him down - I don't like that phrase by the way - was one of the hardest things we've ever done. Coming to the decision was the worst part of the process; let's face it, choosing to end the life of someone you love is never easy.  Honestly, I don't think Josh nor I expected to respond to the situation like we did, but as I found out Tuesday loosing a pet is much like losing a member of your family. You remember sweet things and miss their presence.
When Josh and I got married, we were going through a rough time ( that is a gross understatement). His mom was battling melanoma and just 6 weeks after our wedding the Lord called her home. Just a few weeks after that, we had to move back to Knoxville so I could finish college. Understandably we were broken, sad, and missing home more than ever. Josh mentioned to me about getting a puppy, specifically an English Bulldog to help alleviate some of those lonely feelings and to give us something to focus on other than being away from our families. I was unsure at first because I wasn't really an animal person, if you know what I mean. Anyway, he talked me into "looking" at English Bulldogs, so we found a breeder and made an appointment to go meet these little guys. When we got there, we sat down and about 6 rollie pollie ollie bulldogs come running toward us! They were so precious and immediately I fell in love! Duke crawled in my lap and fell asleep while we were playing with the others and that's how Josh and I knew he was ours! He was comfortable with us from the first moment. We loved him so much even though he did eat everything in that apartment! He helped make that transition so much easier and when I reflect on his life, I think about those first months when he was wider than he was long and we had to carry him down the stairs so he didn't roll down. :)

Duke was such a good puppy. He lived a great life and enjoyed having our huge yard to run in. I love that he stayed at home without being pinned in a cage or fence, even when we were gone, and how he'd jump in the back of my car when I came home from the grocery searching for a bone. He turned me from a person who didn't care for animals into a person who loves them. It's crazy how one little dog can change you as a person. There is a lot of guilt that comes with this situation for me. I think could I have done something different or better or spent more time with him, etc, but we made sure in those last few moments that he knew we loved him very much and that we didn't want him to suffer any longer.  I appreciate his faithfulness to us; he will always be remembered as such a special dog for Josh and I because of the initial meaning behind the reason we got him.  Just before his last breaths he licked my face, then Josh's and I think that was his way of saying bye to us and perhaps thanking us for ending all the pain he was feeling. It's hard looking in the backyard and knowing that he's buried there, but at the same time, it is comforting to know that he is no longer sick. We sure will miss our Dukie-boy. 

Here are some pics of Major growing up with Duke. 

Classic Lazy Bulldog! :)
We love him!