Taming your tongue and other confessions

One of my biggest personal struggles is holding my tongue. I am pretty much an open book especially to the people who are closest to me. Unfortunately, when my frustrations are high, I usually unload whatever is bothering me on whoever is around. I am not proud of this at all and quite frankly I am very ashamed. The older I get, the more I realize and understand about myself. Some things I really like and others I do not. Josh would say I am a good person with a good heart but I am a pessimistic, realist who constantly has my glass half empty. Since he knows me better than anyone else in this world, I take what he says and his view of me to heart. I do not totally agree with what I think he thinks of me, but again, I take his opinion to heart.  I don't feel like I am a miserable person, but I do let things get to me and because of that, perhaps, I seem to be "half-emtpy". I really am a happy, grateful, and blessed person; I just need to work on my reactions to things so that I can be perceived that way.

All of that to say that this morning in SS we were discussing the book of James. Specifically James 3 v. 1-11. The whole chapter is about taming your tongue and how and when to react to situations and through that process the wisdom that you gain in learning such self-control. Think about your tongue and how small of a part of your body it is, but man, what an impact it has on your everyday life. 

Here are the verses that we discussed....

From biblegateway.com

¹ Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. ² We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.

 ³ When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. ⁴ Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. ⁵ Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. ⁶ The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

 ⁷ All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, ⁸ but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

 ⁹ With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. ¹⁰ Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. ¹¹ Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? ¹² My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water. 

And let's just mention verses 9 and 10, who's guilty? Me. I totally am. Every single day I praise God, thank him for my life, my home, my family, my blessings. I am so undeserving of all he has provided in my life. Yet, I am such a disappointment to him every single day because I fail him over and over. My words and actions are like poison because,often, I speak before I think. I rant and unload, I point my finger at others when I should be pointing at myself. How can I do such awful things and still praise him with the same tongue? I can't, but I do. For someone who has given me so much, who has allowed me to live the life that I do with an overwhelming amount of blessings, how can I ever praise him in the way in which he deserves? I am making a decision today to not be so quick with my tongue. I will work very hard to process my thoughts, feelings and emotions before I spit out hateful or hurtful words. I will commit to look at others in a way that is pleasing to the Lord. I will try hard to take deep breaths and be the example that I know I need to be. Hopefully through the recognition of this weakness, through the guilt and harshness I can learn to be more patient, understanding, and fulfilled with all that I have been given. I am grateful for these life lessons, although they are difficult to swallow. Sometimes it takes a good smack in the face by the truth to really recognize how displeasing you are to the Lord. I certainly don't want to be that way. I want so badly to have the patience and grace that he expects me to have. I am learning every day that I can say so much more by being quiet and just listening. For all he has done for me, the least I can do is that.